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Br-x-t matters drag on and on and increasingly highlight the weirdest, oops, most inventive approaches to argument since, well, perhaps since Eve persuaded Adam to wiggle a fig leaf.

Image of part of  a Sailing to Purgatory webpage to illustrate the article.
Head turning ... Going against good sense often requires a small fortune, even in divorce plans. Photo by Mean Shadows on Unsplash
The mystifying approach to argument can’t be dismissed, as Eve might have said of the botanical curtain, too, because (in our case) this argument, this sort of debate, comes from the highest authority in the kingdom.

A pretty high authority, anyway.

Once in a lifetime

What if this approach could be applied to our own individual efforts to survive in modern life?

What about that eternally aired challenge that many experience at least once in their lives.

An unhappy scene usually introduced the subject of divorce, with perhaps the missus blaming the husband for, well, not putting out the rubbish.

Now we need a villain to promote the divorce. Perhaps we'll have a fatso with his own agenda. Perhaps he wants the bride for himself.

In these days, perhaps it’s the husband he’s after, or even the kids.

We’ll call him Uncle Bore-is who persuades the wife and offspring that a fortune would come to them in alimony - much, much more than they ever see these days in the disastrous union.

Promise of funds

As he knows well, there's nothing like the promise of funds to encourage a wife and certainly her brood, too.

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The scene is set. Enthusiasm is in the air. Uncle Bore-is now dashes off propaganda messages which he attaches to the kids’ large toy bus, and slips one in very bold letters inside the tropical fish tank which Madam loves where it very quickly dominates the missus’s view and thinking.

In 60 point Verdana, it offers the first sum the uncle's fantasy provided. The alimony for her and the brats will be £350 million a week. Shaky maths by the kids turns that into a mountain or two of toys.

The missus can’t count the cakes, ready cooked meals, perhaps a chef, and certainly an obliging toy boy or two. The argument is half won. Only, divorce being divorce, Hubby has to agree … How to bully him, oops, encourage him to say yes?

The horror story for marrieds, like the current horror story for sane Britons, continues … Back tomorrow with the next pain-tingling instalment.

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