Gloomy old Britain and monsoonish London aren't exactly presenting the Augusts we've been used to.
|What me? ... It seems in Europe that youngish beach babes are baring their all. Their all? It's easier to spell that out than it is to remember what it was that used to shine from above. Photo by Joshua Aragon on Unsplash, with many thanks.|
We needn't this year because it's been more overcast than anything else.
Perhaps a more appropriate name for the season might be, well, Clouder.
Did you see the rain falling tonight? Our elements are trying to out-monsoon India.
It's not like this over on the Continent. Remember the Continent? It's that place we used to call Europe until a big red bus and some very dubious characters propaganda'd the electorate to offer only a cold shoulder.
|Apparently, you might see almost as many mammaries on Europe's beaches as we spot brollies on our high streets. This is not to knock our gorgeous traditional brollies, with their varnished walking stick parts, and sooty sort-of summer-tent like tops...|
And as the popular media has been prickling we reluctant bachelors, boobs are out in the open on their sunny beaches.
Apparently, you might see almost as many mammaries on Europe's beaches as we spot brollies on our high streets.
This is not to knock our gorgeous traditional brollies, with their varnished walking stick parts, and sooty sort-of summer-tent like tops.
For some unstated reason, the tabloids are not making Page 3 spectacles of our surprising 'summer' of brollies, but they are of the beach lovelies from over there, as they tan their accessories.
Lots and lots are to be seen, perhaps admired, on the beaches of our nearest neighbour, so much so that gendarmes – gay gendarmes, no doubt – have been telling them to put them back.
That encouraged tourist-hungry authorities, perhaps with an eye to our gloomy land, to announce, 'It is not illegal to sunbathe topless in France.'
Maybe because of a shortage of appreciative Brit tourists, a recent survey found that only 22% of French gals like to do it topless, but in Spain 48% do, and with Mrs Merkel's crowd, 34%.
And in our kingdom? It seems that with the summer that forgot to arrive here, the survey wasn't considered worth conducting.